New Year, New Narratives

So, it’s 2018 (which still sounds fake to me) and it’s colder than a warlock’s willy up in my adopted New England hometown. When I woke up this morning it was 1. One degree Fahrenheit. Which is about -17 in Celsius. And it felt colder with wind chill.

I hope I don’t come across as too much of a delicate flower when I say FUCK THAT NOISE.

I actually turned the heat up at home when I got back from my Location of New Year Carousing. The only time my feet have felt warm enough, today, was when someone was sitting on them.

BUT ENOUGH WHINING. Let’s talk about something FUN. Here are some of the movies I’m looking forward to in 2018:

The Post

Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks and good journalists doing what good journalists do. I love me a journalist-as-hero film and this looks like it’s gonna be a pretty strong one.

Proud Mary

Taraji P. Henson (Of Hidden Figures fame) as badass action hero. I have been yearning for this ever since I heard about it and it’s coming out in just about two weeks! wheheheeeeeeeeee.

Black Panther

Every time I see the trailer for this I fucking get chills. This is gonna be the first serious superhero movie led by a black actor since the Blade movies and it is long fucking overdue. And I am just in urgent need of the glorious design of this movie. Give me some Afro-futurism and some solarpunk! I NEED IT! And badass warrior women! I NEED THAT TOO. I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS MOVIE. GO SEE IT. I’M GONNA SEE IT AT LEAST THREE TIMES.


I am adoring the buttered and sugared fuck out of all the new woman-led action films that have been coming out. This one isn’t just action, it’s also scifi-horror, which is one of my main wheelhouses and I am beyond here for it. Natalie Portman, Gina Rodriguez and Tessa Thompson venture into a scary portal thing for the sake of scientific discovery and to rescue Oscar Isaac (who plays Portman’s character’s husband) who is in a coma as a result of going through the same portal.

Men in peril? Women of science? Delicate waifs with machine guns? Fuck. Yes.

A Wrinkle In Time

A book I adored growing up gets a modern makeover, some diversity, and apparently some truly awesome design. It looks like it’s going to be fantastic and I am psyched for it.

Tomb Raider

I am not gonna lie. I loved the Tomb Raider movie from 2001. Angelina Jolie with an English accent….Daniel Craig with an American accent (and a shower scene), that guy who played Rimmer in Red Dwarf as a butler with calm determination (and occasionally a shotgun). It was cheesy and fun and Angelina Jolie did a bunch of her own stunts after training with R.A.F. fellows and I loved it and always will.

The new one stars Alicia Vikander (who I know best as Gabby Teller from Guy Ritchie’s Man From U.N.C.L.E., but who was also in Ex Machina, The Danish Girl and one of the Bourne movies). It looks like it’s going to be fun and full of action and somewhat gritter than the 2001 film, but I think the character will bear that. I’m interested to see how it’ll play out.

Pacific Rim: Uprising

I wasn’t that big a fan of Pacific Rim. It was okay and I had been hoping it would be fanfuckingtastic. I know there are plenty of folks who thought it was (I am on tumblr where the fandom kids hang out and talk about these things).

This sequel looks promising to me. Not just because of John Boyega, but also because of getting to see some of the fun characters from the first film in the light of a different creative team. I am cautiously optimistic.

A Quiet Place

This looks like an amazing premise for a horror film and I’m looking forward to seeing the execution.


I love a good creature-feature (as you might already be aware) but I full-on laughed my ass off when the title of this film came up at the end of its trailer. Movies have been made from some very thin premises, certainly, but I haven’t been so blown away by the wedging in of narrative on the thinnest of frameworks since the film Battleship came out.

For those who don’t know, Rampage was an arcade game (later ported to the NES) where you and a friend smash a city for points. Literally that is it. Once you smash the hell out of one city, they send you to another one. That’s it. That’s the game.

But Battleship turned out to be a surprisingly good popcorn action film, and this one looked as though it might be, as well.

Avengers: Infinity War, Part 1

I didn’t want to care about this. Not after the hot flaming dumpster fire that was Age of Ultron and the depressing grind that was Civil War. But I do care. I do. I can’t help it. I know that the Marvel Studios folks trying to tell a story with as many characters as they are, even across two films, is gonna be ludicrous, but I can’t help it. I’m hopeful.

Deadpool 2

I’m honestly not sure if the sequel can live up to the awesome of the first film, but I know that Ryan Reynolds really cares about this character and his story, so I hope it will. Also, the marketing for it is already hilarious. I’ve never enjoyed a marketing campaign for anything as much as I enjoyed the one for Deadpool and it looks like the advertising team for the sequel is keen to live up to that legacy.

If you haven’t, already, check out this early trailer…ish…thing:

Oceans 8

MORE WOMEN-LED ACTION! YES! YES! Heist movies are some of my favorites and the trailer makes this one look like it’s going to at least be a lot of fun, even if it isn’t a masterpiece of the genre.

The Incredibles 2

It’s about damned time.


The Justice League movie was only okay, but it definitely sold me on some of the characters. I hope they give Jason Momoa something meaty to work with. And I hope we see a lot of floating hair wreathing incredible biceps.

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Mostly watching this for The Wasp and for the far-flung possibility of Cassie Lang showing any signs of being likely to be the springboard off which they launch a Young Avengers movie.

Come on, Marvel. Give me a Young Avengers movie. Give me Kate Bishop. Give me Billy and Teddy being sickeningly cute. Give me Eli fucking Bradley, you cowards!

X-Men: Dark Phoenix

Once again, I don’t really WANT to care, but I do. I love the X-Men in the comics and no matter how badly they keep screwing up the characters in the movies, I keep finding myself wanting to see the next one.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

A Miles Morales movie! Long overdue! I wish it was live-action, but still. I’m psyched about this.

Bohemian Rhapsody

Rami Malek is going to make a great Freddy Mercury. If you haven’t seen his other work, you should check it out.

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Obviously, this isn’t all the movies that will be good or all the movies I’m going to see in 2018. There will be lots more to watch out for. I hope you all stick with me to see it unfold!

Happy New Year!!!